7 Types of iPhone Users

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According to sales numbers from Statistica, Apple should be reaching 1.5 billion iPhones sold in 2019. We decided to look back at the impact the iPhone has had in our society. Upon such reflection, we realized that several different types of users have emerged.

The Fanboy

The Fanboy is excited about everything Apple. He owns every previous version of the iPhone, and he buys the latest iPhone on launch day - every year. He proudly wears an Apple t-shirt, bought off of eBay from a disgruntled former Genius Bar technician. So often you suspect he's not laundering it in order to prevent if from fading.

The Fanboy loves how his iPhone "just works" with his HomePod, Apple TV, iPad, iMac, Macbook Air, and his Apple Watch. He proudly wears his Apple Airpods everywhere he goes.

The Unappreciative

This particular iPhone owner got the phone because it was trendy and her parents were buying. She's not fully aware of the raw computing capability in her hand, and she probably wouldn't care anyway. She had to buy a car charger from a gas station because she got lost and never learned to read a map.

She has never bought an app, doesn't use a case, and complains about how fast the battery drains.

The Overuser

Unlike the Unappreciative, the Overuser uses his iPhone to the full extent he can. In fact, he's ALWAYS on it, to the degree that it's difficult to hold a conversation. He dropped $50 on a bulky, toilet-proof case, and downloads apps out of sheer boredom.

You can find him staring down at his lap instead of anyone at the dinner table, and he often texts people in the same room.

The Desk Job

This guy owns an Android, from which he simply can't cut the cord. He carries both phones around with him since he has to answer work emails immediately, and he mainly uses the iPhone as a sweaty, glorified iPod at the gym. His corporate IT job pays for the phone plan, so the extra $100 a month for a phone he never makes calls on doesn't phase him (which drives the Fanboy nuts).

Optional: walks around with in-ear bluetooth.

The Hacker

The Hacker can't be constrained by things like "Terms of Service." She jailbroke her iPhone the day she got it, and uses it to do things like remote start her car and turn on and off her smart lights from across the room. She's long since cut off her phone plan and uses apps to make free calls via WiFi instead. She tries to convince the Fanboy to also jailbreak so he can tether to his laptop, but he's too scared to do it.

The Senior Citizen

No one's really sure how this guy ended up with an iPhone. He has to hold it really far away from his face to use, and types at 1 WPM. You wonder why this guy has a smart phone in the first place, and you especially cringe when you hear the default iPhone ring tone play ceaselessly because he doesn't answer or silence the ring tone. His grandkids are amazed every time he sends a text, and Siri never understands him.

The Complainer

This guy does nothing but whine about the iPhone - from the price tag to how Steve Jobs would have made a better phone. He tells people he's getting an Android as soon as he finishes paying off his iPhone, and he gets mad when he sees the Senior Citizen using it incorrectly.

He's probably going to get the next iPhone anyway because "Apple slows down old iPhones with each software update."